Petting Zoo
by Autobot Chromia
Summary: What's worse than a hot summer's day when you're made of black metal? Having to endure that hot summer day out in the beating sun, being tormented by caged animals, and being dragged about by a pest who simply insists that he wants to see the donkeys. Rated 'T' for 'swearing', but really only pertaining to certain animal's names.


**Petting Zoo**

* * *

Detroit in mid summer. It was...hot. _Very_ hot. Sweltering, even. The heat of the day of the crowded city, chuck full of pollution-increasing automobiles and public transport units, black asphalt seeming to absorb the suns light, and building seeming to give off their own heat in place of shade - it was rather miserable, to say the least.

And of course, just to add insult to injury - because slowly melting was immensely painful - Jazz wouldn't leave him alone.

"Com'mon, Prowler!" the black mech in address hid a flinch at the cursed nickname. "Com'mon! Hey, hey, Prowler! Are ya even awake or has the sun finally fried your processor?"

Huffing a vent, the black Cyberninja forced his optic band online, and squinted up at the silhouetted frame looking as black as he was by the sun. He stilled his mind, the processor unit still spiraling out of his control from a meditation interrupted.

A final huff, just to show his irritation at the cheesily grinning, white mech above. "What do you want, Jazz?"

"Ya know what Ah want." Jazz's grin stretched to impossible lengths, a rather large flier in his hands that left Prowl to wonder two things. One- Just what human and printer even thought to make such a big mail-info sheet. And two- How many trees were murdered in the making of that paper?

Or maybe it was just a poster Jazz had torn down from a telephone pole. He had yet to figure it out.

But he did know one thing, _exactly _what Jazz had been begging, whining to do for the past quartex- er - week. A new addition to the local Detroit City Zoo, a 'Petting Zoo'. Not only did Jazz want to go and see the regular animals, 'Pick up on the earth-style fauna- ya dig?', he seemed completely taken by the fact that travelers were allowed to _touch_ the animals. ("We can pet a lion-or a bear! Or maybe even a water buffalo. Ah've always wondered what one o' those things feel like." "I highly doubt that, Jazz.")

He looked up into that pleading visor, begging him to stop shunning his own friend, give his fragged processor a break, and vent in some of the thick, hazy, pollution filled air. _Because that won't clog our shafts._

A single, defeated sigh and slump of the shoulders was more than enough for Jazz to completely light up and grab his friend by the hand. In a matter of moment, Prowl wasn't sure if Jazz had folded him into alt. or somehow controlled his T-cog, but nonetheless, he was on the impossibly hot road and his tires felt about ready to melt.

Collapsing into his own sleek sports car mode, Jazz's headlights seemed to smile for him. "A little travelin' music, and away we go!"

And that 'traveling music' was successfully blocked out the entire ten minutes it took to reach the park, and of course, the zoo.

* * *

Humans always had to make everything such a hassle. Yes, they could pay for the two tickets it took for them to answer - the government payed them rather handsomely for helping out with terrorist attacks, keeping an optic on Decepticons, and lending a hand wherever necessary.

No, they couldn't walk through the gate.

No, they couldn't transform and _drive_ through it- or at least Jazz couldn't.

Yes, they would be careful stepping over it.

Yes, the metal detector was going to go off. They were _made_ of metal.

Yes, they had weapons on them.

No, they weren't going to use them on humans - but that gate-keeper sure was asking for a thick _shruiken_ right through the skull.

Finally, the hassle it took for two adult Autobots to successfully enter a public zoo was over, and they were in and sporting some sort of rubber stamp on their hands that was so small even their optics zooming in couldn't pick up the smudged words. No matter, it would rub off anyways.

"So, Prowler..." Jazz's cheerful voice trailed off as he allowed his processor to scan a holographic image of the zoo map. "Where to first?"

"I thought we were only here for your 'petting zoo'." Prowl stated, eyeing a small child with a balloon bobbing merrily in his hands. "I wasn't aware you were interested in anything else."

Only Jazz could make Prowl feel stupid with a single look. "Ya don't jus' go to a zoo ta see one thing!"

And that's how it all started. Actually, it started with the elephants. Two large but still smaller than the two Autobots, even if they reached Prowl's chassis, beasts with sad-looking eyes and wrinkled skin in need of a good pressing. They merely stood there, the hot sun beating on their gray backs, and periodically sprayed the other with a weak huff of water once the heat became too much. _They look happy, tuskless and miserable in this heat._

Monkeys, screeching and screaming in their 'habitat' yelled and chibbered at the two metal strangers, going as far as to toss an _opened_ and _uneaten_ banana at the scowling black one, joining in with the white one as he laughed.

Next up was the Snake/Scorpion/Spider/Insects/Turtle exhibits, that they just barely managed to fit into. Why such gentle, quiet creatures with their homey shells were placed with ever kind of creeping, crawly nasty was beside him. Perhaps because it was just a dark, cool building?

"Hey, Prowl." Jazz nearly had to shout above the noise of the crowded building, the humans seeking out shade as well as the animals behind thick glass. "Look at the turtle!"

Venting heavily, but rather interested in the animal, he peered into the clear glass. He shook his helm. "Terrapin."

"Wha'?" the white mech tilted his helm like a Labrador retriever, optics similar to a puppy.

"It's not a turtle, Jazz, but a terrapin." Prowl stated cooly, his nerves becoming slightly more frazzled at just how crowded this building was, and all that noise!

Jazz poked his helm back down, studying the shelled animal completely happy in his watery home. "Wha's the difference?" Catching himself as he made a _huge_ mistake, Prowl actually intaking to launch into a lecture, he held up his hands. "Never mind! Ah really don' care. Now...wha's next?"

Miffed about his nixed explanation, Prowl replied broodingly. "I thought this entire day trip was just for you to pet some kind of fuzzy creature and _go back home_. Where it's less crowded...and quieter... and doesn't have cobras."

Reviewing the zoo map in his helm, he grabbed Prowl's hand. "Nope! Next up is the donkeys!"

And so Prowl found himself dragged back out into the pounding sun. Of course Jazz was relatively cool and happy, his frame nice white that reflected the sun like an ancient Egyptian's robe. Plus, _he_ had internal fans and cooling. Prowl, not only a heat absorbing black, was a motorcycle, and thus AC-less.

The long eared equines flicked their tails about, batting away the flies the heat and smells of the zoo attracted. A young one, just barely out of foal-hood, chewed a mouthful of dry hay and let the excess float down to the ground.

It was obvious Jazz was instantly taken. "Aren't they cute, Prowler?" the mech exclaimed.

"Simply adorable." Prowl vented, flicking away a few flies that had found his own heat more attractive than anything the animals could give off. Once pest-less. except for the giant, _white_ pest grinning all the while, he finally managed to catch sight of the four-legged equines. "A jackass."

"Prowler!" Jazz exclaimed, slapping his friend across the shoulder for such language. "There's kids 'ere!"

"No," Prowl all but facepalmed,"Jazz, the technical name for a donkey is a jackass."

Jazz only frowned, his scowl letting up as he caught sight of a certain little sign telling both information on the animals, and-"One of them's pregnant _an'_ gonna be in the pettin' zoo!"

"Oh, joy." came the dry reply. "So I assume we're heading there no so that we can-"

"She ain't due there for 'bout fifteen more minutes." Jazz squelched Prowl's hope of returning home any time soon. "An' we still haven't seen the wolf exhibit."

Well, that didn't sound so bad. It was just one more fenced in area before the loathed petting zoo that had started it all, and then he was home free. Or just _home_. "Very well, Jazz."

It was only a matter of minutes, and a trek halfway through the entire half-mile long zoo to reach the forest themed animal exhibit. Cool brown rocks cast shade besides an artificial pool of water, and actual trees - piddly little things, but trees nonetheless - just barely blocked out the hidey-holes the wolves would duck in and out of during feeding or night time.

Jazz crouched down, clicking, as a large timber wolf strutted up close to the glass, obviously enjoying the attention more than her panting mate near passed out beneath the overhanging rocks. "Hey, girl. You're a pretty dog, aren't ya?"

"Bitch."

"Prowler, we've been over this! There are kids 'ere!" Jazz's helm snapped back towards his servo crossed over chassis friend. "Ah know ya ain't enjoyin' this half as much as you're puttin' on, but do ya really got ta use such crude language?"

_I wasn't aware I was even attempting to act 'happy'._ Prowl grumbled within, actually allowing himself that facepalm he had wanted to use at the donkey area. "No, Jazz. _We've_ been over this. I'm not _swearing_. The term for a female dog is a bitch. The term you're thinking of is used in context of-"

Quickly, Jazz waved him off, stretching up to his full height. "Yeah, yeah. Alrigh', whatever, 'kay? We gotta hurry! The pettin' zoo's about ta bring out that pregnant donkey!"

_And then we can, _finally_, go home._ Prowl allowed himself to be dragged to the child-like area. Bunnies hopped about, noses twitching to and fro. Sheep and lambs bawled, their thick, wooly coats sheared for the hot winter and looking rather naked and out of place.

And finally, without further ado, complete with tether and harness, a fat donkey with swaying hips was led out by a zookeeper, her red shirt getting nibbled on by a curious goat until she shooed it away.

Prowl merely stood back, away from the throngs of children and out of the way for Jazz to give the animal a quick pat, and leave. Casting him a sad if not pitiful look, Jazz decided to make it up to his black and melting friend. Prowl thought he hadn't been listening to all the little facts throughout the day, excluding the lecture on the terrapin he could honestly care about. Well, he'd make it up and prove just how much he had been listening.

"Hey, Prowl, look! It's the ass bitch! See, Prowl? The ass bitch!" Jazz beamed, faltering just slightly at the collective gasp many adults- _parents_- gave out.

And from that moment on, no one above twelve feet and made put of metal was allowed to go into any child-oriented place without a supervisor. Or, more accurately, a pair of black and white, visored bots.

* * *

Author's Note- This plot's been in my head for months now, and I actually wrote part of it, didn't save it, and just let the idea slip to the back of my Mind Palace and collect cobwebs. I was just cleaning out my head when I came across it, and wrote this out in about 20-min.

Hope ya'll enjoy. :)


End file.
